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2003-06-17 @ 9:38 p.m.
there's been lots going on since i wrote last. i've got a really awesome girlfriend. we've worked through some drama which i think has brought us closer. my life has been pretty good lately. though i didn't get into mills, so i'll be stickin around the east coast for a while. i'm itching for a new job. my roomate is moving out in the beginning of july. that's the brief recap. today i was home sick. for the second day in a row. sick with a cold. and sick of my damn job.
other than that, my grandmother is in detox again. well, she was. she had a mild seizure on friday and was in the hospital detoxing. now she's in a nursing home for about a week or so. and then the family is going to try to get her into an outpatient alcohol treatment center. i want her to go to an inpatient center, but the rest of the family is not into that apparently. the hard part is that my grandfather also needs to go into treatment with her. otherwise it won't work. because if she just comes home to him handing her a glass of warm vodka, no ice, that pretty much defeats the whole purpose. so i thinking i'm going home for a week. i'm looking for a plane ticket for next week. i just want to be around when this all happens. and i haven't seen my grandmother in a year and a half. which is one of the hard parts of living 3000 miles away. i'm scared my grandma somehow won't make it until when i'm home in august. maybe i'm paranoid, but so what. it's my fucking grandmother. she has been such a good grandma to me and i love her fiercely. now it's time to do everything i can think of to try to be a good granddaughter. i want to hold her hand and say grandma, i love you, i'm worried about you. i want you live a long long time, happy and healthy. you're the only grandma i've got. and you're a good one. so please don't leave me. perhaps i've been fortunate enough to know a number of people in recovery, in various twelve step programs. so i feel like i know the right questions to ask. of her doctors, of a treatment center. i want to see if i can get some alcohol treatment counselor or something to talk to the whole family together. i'm not sure how well that's going to go over. but i want to try...
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