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grad school dilemma
2003-07-17 @ 10:49 a.m.
various spewings from the past few days.... oh, and i called mills on monday to ask them to give me feedback on why i didn't get in. no luck, no information. then only a few hours a call back from the same woman said that a slot opened up and i'm in if i still want it. simultaneous yipee and yikes. ......................... i have three options regarding mills, now that my status with the school has changed: to go, not to go, or to *fingers crossed* defer for a year. do small schools defer enrollment anyway. among other things, i blew my grad school saving account months ago when they told me i basically wasn't getting in. upon this news, i started really questioning why i wanted to go to grad school in the first place. is writing the path i really want to take, or more accurately, is getting an mfa in writing the path i really want to take right now? am i really a writer if i haven't been writing anything lately? i don't to completely abandon politics and feminist activism. how would i make sure i don't lose that? at the same time, both writing and activism are the two things i'm drawn to whether i like it or not. that's just how it is. i'm straddling two worlds, perhaps. or maybe hovering just above them. tectonic plates of life paths that erupt in violent shaking and chafing when they meet and grind and rumble together. ......................... it seems mills doesn't exactly defer enrollment. they'll hang onto my application, if i want, and put me in the mix for spring semester. it's either that, or move across the country and start grad school in 39 days.
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